Monday, September 21, 2015

Dont hate me for cryinggggg!!


Whewww!! It has been far, far to long since I have made a blog post.  Between experiencing being a mommy, learning my baby girl and of course traveling the world it seems there has been little time to make a blog post.  As many of you may know lots of life changes besides our little miss.... we now live in Kansas, that's right Manhattan, KS!! Wooo HOOO!! BOO WHOO!!! Lol. the best part though is that I'm staying home with Kinlee and its so fun and rewarding minus trying to make myself around a small town not knowing anyone but we are making our way and growing our friendships thru our army friends and of course I joined cross fit so that helps get us out of the house.  
Moving with the military is hard on everyone and anyone.  I mean of course we all love meeting new peeps and learning the areas but it is down right hard on everyone and when you add a dog and a little girl to the mix it makes it that much more difficult.  Again being a mom is such a learning experience every day and I wouldn't trade it for the world!
So the reason for this post is for me to share with you an experience I had and have learned from and I thought I needed to share it with you all.... I love hearing peoples experiences and advices on parenting so here's a little from me to YOU!
So as many of you, I'm sure must know... we have NEVER had a baby that has slept.  From being a new born and waking up every few hours to nurse.  Then taking onto solid foods (everyone says once they are on foods she will sleep... no not quite) My excuse was always oh she's so little, oh she has to nurse, or she's cold, or she doesn't like her bed, or she's teething, or something... or something else....  I mean I let her cry for a bit, but I'm never going to let her cry it out I don't know how anyone can ever do that to their child.  (Never say never)  Then we hit 8 months we were about to make our move and our little one slept for 6 hours one night.. yes S I X! I think I woke up every couple hours anyways to make sure she was still breathing I got so excited! But then the next night and the next night and so on it was every 3-4 hours which was better than every few.  I began to have hope that somewhere in this life of sleep habits we were making progress.... Most of the time, she would wake for no given reason.  Most of the time I would assume it was just close enough to a feeding so we would nurse and then back to bed she went.  Then we moved and it flopped we went back to waking every few hours we were in transit for a good month so I figured once we get in our house she will bounce back and hopefully start sleeping as we were making some progress.  Well NO! Who was I kidding?!?!  We got into our house, her nursery was together all was good. nursing was starting to decrease with one feeding at night but she still wasn't sleeping.  We now went from waking every 4 hours to waking every hour .  She was 10 months old I seriously did everything and when I say everything I mean anything anyone had ever told me to do I did...except the Cry it out method because that was just something I never believed in I mean your child needs love, caring and to know that they always have your comfort.  I mean what does it teach them to let them scream and cry?!?!
Well it had now gotten to the point where even naptime wasn't working anymore and I knew those couldn't be skipped as a tired baby sleeps worse than a well rested baby...although I will add there were several days I just threw in the towel and she didn't get a nap and then I was up all night FOR REAL!
So this is what my day consisted of wake nap at would take about an hour to get her to sleep  and as for everytime she would fall asleep in this new sleeping environment I would TIP TOE to her bed gently hold my breathe, softly lay her down tip toe away and breathe and if I was able to then leave the room I was in shock... most times we would do this about 3 times till she finally fell asleep then she would sleep for 30 minutes.  During this time she was fussy all the time, irritable, tired, clingy all the things you want to steer clear of with your child.  then after noon nap repeat again. I was lucky if she was getting an hour nap in a day  if we got in two hour naps for both naps combined we were in heaven just so I could sit and breathe, or do the dishes or call and complain to a friend. I could never get anything done.  Then came the evening we have always followed a strict bedtime routine. Bath>Story Time> Nurse/bottle>Bedtime well now for this evening bedtime it would take me anywhere from 1-2.5 hours to get her to go to sleep. The slightest movement, noise, roll over she would be wide awake I was seriously on pins and needles.  She would then sleep for about 3 hours and wake then in the middle of the night we would start the process of it taking at least an hour to go to sleep.  At this point I became at my whit's end. I was irritable, moody, coffee wasn't enough for me, mad, upset, felt like a failure and just didn't know what to do. I was majorly sleep deprived and felt like jumping off a bridge {not really but really}I knew there had to be a change but I had read every blog out there followed all the tips, read books after books, talked to strangers I didn't even know about it.  I didn't know what to do but I wanted my happy self back, I wanted my baby back that was bubbly, laughing playing and just always happy. But how on earth do I get there?!?! I called back to my pediatrician  dr Viniarski at Woodcreek Pediatrics in Puyallup, Wa where we are no longer patients. I was in tears I gave my spill and just asked for simple help..... and she said,"Jessica I know its hard but you really have to let her cry" Coming from her it clicked I and it was a turning point.  She said order this book, Healthy Sleep Habbits, Healthy Child and then call back if you have any questions.  So I ordered the book (thank you amazon for quick delivery) In the meantime I like to call it my support group about 4 girlfriends and gave it a go... Derek wasn't quite on board but once I was so determined he knew he had to follow and he wanted everyone to be happy too. SO we started the cry it out method. I was prepared mentally and physically. I had jotted down notes, I had girls on speed dial in all time zones (yes I probably drove them nuts) I cried. She cried. I cried more than she did.  I started out slow the first night 3 mins cry. 1 minute soothe. 3 minutes cry. 1 min soothe. 5 mins cry and she was asleep. Night two 5 minutes cry. 1 minute soothe. 3 mins cry and she was asleep. The next week was tough but she never cried longer than 12 minutes until she was asleep. I was so against this method but like anything you have to do what works for you, have a plan and stick with it. As my friend Sarah well stated, "we sometimes forget who is in charge and then have to just reinforce that" these are words I will live by for the rest of my life. I must say without my 4 girlfriends I probably would've failed a few times but this works. And in the end we all want a child that self soothes, that is independent and strong we can teach this to them in many ways but after reading this book (I'm only half done as I stopped where she is in age) this is just going to help her with these traits.  Do we sleep all night? Some nights. Does she still wake often? sometimes. its a roller coaster and I'm still learning. But I recommend if your having problems (or not) start early and follow.  Once I think I have it finally mastered we hit a bump in the road but I will say we are way better than where we were. I can now lay her down and she will soothe herself to sleep {or now that she can stand, she will until she sits down and goes to sleep} I just really wanted to share my experience with you that cry it out isn't always as bad as what everyone thinks it can be.  I hope this helps some. I hope to not have haters. We are happy healthy and back to ourselves again. 

Cheers to healthy sleeping.